Antoni's New D

Baller and I are very much worried about the Lakers this season.

The above sentence is an understatement. In fact, Baller is crying right now.

So to cheer him up ... I facilitated text messages!

Fat Pitcher [FP]: Plan: Lakers sub Nash in every time the opponent scores, then sub him out every time the Lakers score. 7:34 PM

Ugly Baller [UB]: Not legal. Can substitute only at fouls, timeouts, and out-of-bounds 7:36 PM

Fat Pitcher [FP]: Soon as they get the ball they immediately throw the ball off an opposing player's leg. 7:38 PM

UB: Now you're talking 7:38 PM

FP: Needs a catchy name though ... 7:39 PM

[... one hour later ...]

FP: Stash a Nash! 8:43 PM

Photo & A Quote

From an article I read today:

"Cause we're old as s---," said Bryant. "What do you want?"

I don't have to cite it. I don't have to provide any context.

I owe none of you a single thing.

Parker, Spurs hand Hornets rare loss at home

Here's the first in what promises to be an ongoing feature: Game recap headlines taken completely out of context and with a temporary but total incapability to understand any figurative language whatsoever, which are then poorly illustrated in MSpaint.

Enjoy the first of our series, entitled, "Parker, Spurs hand Hornets rare loss at home"