Antoni's New D

Baller and I are very much worried about the Lakers this season.

The above sentence is an understatement. In fact, Baller is crying right now.

So to cheer him up ... I facilitated text messages!

Fat Pitcher [FP]: Plan: Lakers sub Nash in every time the opponent scores, then sub him out every time the Lakers score. 7:34 PM

Ugly Baller [UB]: Not legal. Can substitute only at fouls, timeouts, and out-of-bounds 7:36 PM

Fat Pitcher [FP]: Soon as they get the ball they immediately throw the ball off an opposing player's leg. 7:38 PM

UB: Now you're talking 7:38 PM

FP: Needs a catchy name though ... 7:39 PM

[... one hour later ...]

FP: Stash a Nash! 8:43 PM

Eckstein All-Stars

Sometimes, Baller and I correspond via text message. This is one such instance ...

Fat Pitcher [FP]: I want to make an "All The Little, Scrappy Things" fantasy baseball league ... that only counts stats like HBP and stolen base attempts (because out or safe, it was the effort that counted!) 2:44 PM

Ugly Baller [UB]: I hope I get the first pick so I can take Adam Kennedy! 2:45 PM

[FP]: Then I take Eckstein with pick number two, for the positive vibes he gives his team from beyond the dugout! 2:46 PM

[UB]: Hoping Bobby Valentine falls to me in the 2nd round. Who cares if he doesn't actually play? I need someone to inspire my team! Managers are important! 2:49 PM

[UB]: I'm wishing I'd taken a pitcher, though. Tim Wakefield and Livan Hernandez are certainly off the board by now.2:53 PM

[FP]: I'm just going to draft "guts" ... I don't know whom they belong to, but I don't really care. 2:54 PM

[UB]: Can I draft Joe Morgan to announce my home games? 2:55 PM

[FP]: Hell yes. But this is my sleeper. 2:56 PM

[FP]: Sleep as in with the fishes. Because I think he's probably dead. Also, make sure to read the first "fast fact" at the bottom of the page ... I ... did not know that! 2:57 PM

[UB]: My draft results: one manager, one announcer, four knuckleballers, six middle relievers, and fifteen middle infielders. 2:57 PM

[FP]: My results: 2 living people. Lots of re-animated corpses. And/or their internal organs. 2:58 PM

[UB]: No need to reanimate, you'd win the league anyway. Players these days just don't know how to play the way they used to. 3:01 PM

[UB]: Ps: his name is Scrappy. Unbelievable. 3:01 PM

[FP]: My guys all drove trucks that lasted. And none of the cool things they wore were ironical. 3:01 PM

[FP]: When you tally his stats with the other Scrappy you get a career totals of 4 (!) HBP ... and a decent Fld%

Photo & A Quote

From an article I read today:

"Cause we're old as s---," said Bryant. "What do you want?"

I don't have to cite it. I don't have to provide any context.

I owe none of you a single thing.

Now The Shields Trade Makes Sense

Context. All we needed was a little context. The Royals needed to appear more competitive in order to attract top FA talent.

Or mortgage a big, bright chunk of their future for a chance at 81 wins in 2013.

Or something.

Non-Sense

Once a year ... once every two weeks. 差不多, right folks?

Disclosure: I am a frequent patron of MLB Trade Rumors and Fangraphs. How frequent, you ask? I'll put it this way, I was living in Taiwan in 2008. So prepare for my articles to reference those sites now and again.

Now that that's out of the way, here's a musing of little consequence:

A recent headline from an MLB Trade Rumors' article set me off a bit. Here it is, along with the first paragraph. Read carefully:

The Key "Non-Moves" Of 2012

As the cliche goes, sometimes the best moves are the ones you don't make. Some teams greatly benefited by standing pat on certain trades or signings during the past year while others may have hurt their prospects for the 2012 season and beyond by not striking when the iron was hot. Here is a list of some of the most intriguing non-moves (the good and the bad) of 2012...

Pretty innocuous, right? But the quotation marks stand out a bit, no? They always catch my eye.

So my initial thought was: Incorrect use of quotations. Plain and simple.

The article is a list of literal "non-moves." Granted the term isn't real, but the implied meaning behind the term is literal, and no one is being quoted ... so no quotation marks necessary, right?

And then a thought occurred. A "non-move" can't really exist. It's like choosing not to make a choice. Choosing "not" to do something is still doing something. So maybe the quotes were meant to imply sarcasm after all. This line of thought is seemingly reinforced by the first line of the article, invoking the adage "the best moves are the ones you don't make."

Great. Sarcasm and correct quotation usage after all! Wit on the Internet!

Unfortunately, I continued reading.

The last line of the first paragraphs once again employs the (non)-term "non-move" -- but this time without the quotes -- suggesting the author simply added them the first time around because he was trying to be clever. Or simply didn't know any better.

Thanks for nothing, Internet.

Scola's monster night helps Rockets roll Pistons

Nearly a year later, another post! Scola's monster night helps Rockets Roll Pistons



No, I don't know why either.

Parker, Spurs hand Hornets rare loss at home

Here's the first in what promises to be an ongoing feature: Game recap headlines taken completely out of context and with a temporary but total incapability to understand any figurative language whatsoever, which are then poorly illustrated in MSpaint.

Enjoy the first of our series, entitled, "Parker, Spurs hand Hornets rare loss at home"